A pronoun (he, him, she, her, they, them) can only function as one of two things, either a subject or an object, and its role in the sentence will determine which form you choose.
Choosing the right pronoun prompts many people to hesitate, but the answer is easier than you might think. Simply ask yourself what role the pronoun is playing in the sentence. Is it a subject or an object? It can only be one or the other. In the sentence, “Him and I are going to the conference,” you might wonder if “him” is the correct form. It is functioning as a subject of the verb “are,” so it must appear in the subjective form, which is “he.” “Him” is always the objective form.
If you write, “He will explain the proposal to she and I,” ask how the pronouns are functioning in the sentence. They are objects of the preposition “to,” so they must appear in their objective forms, (her and me).
Sometimes you can follow your ear, but that is not always a fail-safe method because what you are accustomed to hearing is not always appropriate.
Like most grammatical guidelines, the proper form of prounouns is not a complex concept. Study it a little, be willing to look it up if you have questions, and you will soon commit it to memory.
Lynn,
Thank you for commenting. The often-heard deviations from standard English, such as misuse of pronouns, help illuminate the challenge we all face as communicators. When we are not consicientous enough to proofread carefully and to look things up when we are uncertain, then we are less polished in speaking and writing.
Staying on top of traditional grammar guidelines is not as difficult as some people think. Yes, it has its nuances, but it is, afterall, grammar; it is not biomolecular chemistry. If we take the time to use resource books and to ask people to read our copy for things we might have overlooked, we gradually will commit things to memory. The guidelines are not that difficult to grasp.
To your question, it is not considered acceptable, and careful writers and speakers observe the traditional guidelines, which have been in place for more then 250 years. People do cut us some slack, but only to a point. Significant errors are a distraction to a listener or a reader, and they can tarnish our credibility. I happen to enjoy grammar, but a person doesn’t need to be a grammar enthusiast to care about writing and speaking clearly and professionally. Impressions matter in the business world, just as manners do.
I always thought some of former President Bush’s oral missteps were rather embarrassing. Politics aside, a Texas drawl can be folksy, but I am not sure how many people think it’s folksy when the president of the United States, a graduate of an Ivy League college, cannot correctly pronounce simple words like “nuclear.” That’s just a lack of effort.